Whoa! Lindsey Vonn wears painted bikini in SI!

Lindsey Vonn, body paint and a bikini! That is a trifecta!

The four-time World Cup alpine ski racing champion appears in the new swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated and the body-paint photos have my heart racing.

In my next life, I want to be Lindsey Vonn’s body painter and I would take my time making sure every detail was perfect.

@lindseyvonn was photographed for the @si_swimsuit 2016 ??? #siswimsuit#sportsillustrated#lindseyvonn

A post shared by Lindsey Vonn Updates #LV77 (@lindseyvonn.updates) on

This next swimsuit photo of Lindsey may not be an SI picture, and if it is not, it doesn’t matter.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BBmd-VrjcJn/?tagged=lindseyvonn

I enjoy this next photo, too, even if she is fully clothed.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BBmd5FGDcJi/?tagged=lindseyvonn

Right now, Lindsey is far away from swimsuit weather.

She said on her Facebook page Wednesday that she was “kind of bummed I missed all the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit fun back in the states.”

Lindsey is in the midst of the 2015-16 World Cup season, where she is No. 1 in the overall standings.

She has nine wins overall this season, including five downhill, and The Associated Press reported Feb. 6 that she “keeps breaking her own records with every new victory.”

On that day in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Germany, AP reported that Lindsey “raised her record to 38 downhill wins, the most by a woman in a specific discipline.”

OK, let’s get back to the swimsuit stuff.

Click on this image for an addictive video clip.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BB4KLWoOBXc/?tagged=lindseyvonn

As Lindsey competes in La Thuile, Italy, this weekend, I might buy myself paint to practice on Lindsey’s SI body photos and the addictive video clip.

Written by Billy Joe Jessup

Billy Joe Jessup, 66, is a Mississippi good old boy who saw himself as the Southern Richard Meltzer back in 1974 and 1975. Jessup wrote two satiric sports articles for the rock music magazine Zoo World when he was in his early 20s, but ZW rejected his third article, killing his confidence so much that he battled writer's block for more than four decades until his Guy Hut breakthrough in March 2018.