At Mugshot Baes, good-looking babes gone bad

This is one of the babes featured on the intoxicating Mugshot Baes Twitter account. MUGSHOT BAES
This is one of the babes featured on the intoxicating Mugshot Baes Twitter account. MUGSHOT BAES

By CAPTAIN TENACIOUS

I’m addicted to Mugshot Baes, a Twitter account that reposts booking photos of good-looking babes gone bad.

I got hooked after getting tired of seeing all the toothless male crackheads and meth heads featured in Deep South crime weeklies that I used to skim through when getting my nightly supply of convenience store malt liquor.

Mugshot Baes is right in my wheelhouse: Girls all the time and they’re young. The fact I could be their father or grandfather never crosses my perverted 66-year-old bachelor’s mind.

The arrest photos are from law enforcement websites and Mugshot Baes lists above each image the charge or charges but hardly ever reveals the girls’ names.

I’m most interested in the girls charged with DUI, DWI or public intoxication because I love to drink and my wild imagination makes me fantasize about hanging out in a bar downing Jack and Cokes with Mugshot Baes if they’re no longer in trouble.

A Mugshot Bae I could do without is the crying kind. For example:

 

Grow up, ladies! There’s no crying in jail! Because of that, you’re not my type! These are my type!

The one above, I think she is my favorite of all the Mugshot Baes, and as long as she’s not the female Andrew Cunanan, I would want the pleasure of her company.

She can drink and I’ll drink and drive.

Written by Billy Joe Jessup

Billy Joe Jessup, 66, is a Mississippi good old boy who saw himself as the Southern Richard Meltzer back in 1974 and 1975. Jessup wrote two satiric sports articles for the rock music magazine Zoo World when he was in his early 20s, but ZW rejected his third article, killing his confidence so much that he battled writer's block for more than four decades until his Guy Hut breakthrough in March 2018.