My St. Paddy’s Day with Miss Universe Ireland

The Cailin Toibin Instagram fan page says she is 'perfectly made.' INSTAGRAM
The Cailin Toibin Instagram fan page says she is 'perfectly made.' INSTAGRAM

By CAPTAIN TENACIOUS

I celebrated St. Patrick’s Day on Saturday with Cailin Toibin, the blue-eyed 23-year-old blonde who is Miss Universe Ireland 2017.

Actually, I got drunk and rejected in the Irish Channel in New Orleans and went back home all alone to Gulfport, Miss., for a St. Paddy’s Night viewing of beautiful Instagram posts featuring Toibin, who finished in what I call the Sweet 16 of the Miss Universe pageant in Las Vegas in November.

These pictures and the featured double image are my favorites.

Toibin was crowned Miss Ireland on Aug. 31 and IrishCentral.com’s Miss Universe coverage reported that Twitter was convinced she is actress Reese Witherspoon’s twin.

When host Steve Harvey announced that Tobin had made it to the last 16 in the Miss Universe pageant, Twitter users began speculating about Tobin’s possible relation to Reese Wetherspoon. An article on Bustle remarked on Tobin’s smile being similar to Witherspoon’s, that’s not to mention Tobin’s jawline and heart-shaped face all being similar to the Oscar winner’s. Some went beyond Witherspoon and just referred to Tobin as being similar to Witherspoon’s iconic Legally Blonde character Elle Woods.

Wow! Did you notice the typos? Too late to fix now.

I didn’t seek out one of the Reese-related tweets, but I found this on Instagram.

Toibin’s journey to the 2017 Miss Universe pageant began when she won the title of Miss Cork.

I’ll never be Mr. Universe, but I’m indulging in the fantasy that one day I will marry Toibin and become her Mr. Cork.

Written by Billy Joe Jessup

Billy Joe Jessup, 66, is a Mississippi good old boy who saw himself as the Southern Richard Meltzer back in 1974 and 1975. Jessup wrote two satiric sports articles for the rock music magazine Zoo World when he was in his early 20s, but ZW rejected his third article, killing his confidence so much that he battled writer's block for more than four decades until his Guy Hut breakthrough in March 2018.